Here We Go Again
by PandaAngelFaith
Summary: When Bella is out for a Girl's Night while Edward is a leading doctor. The actions of that night have some major consequences when her past high school sweetheart shows up.
1. Chapter 1

~All rights go to Stephanie Meyers for characters. No offense is intended~

Here We Go Again

By

Panda*Angel*Faith

Chapter 1

I could just shoot my best friend, Alice. I mean what in the world was she thinking? I knew I was going to get caught in this mess, but I had volunteered for it, so there wasn't much that I was going to be able to say about it. We were at her friend, Rosalie's, house and there was nothing much going on, but what I had thought to be a girl's night out, turned out to be a marriage counseling session between Rosalie and Emmett. The idea was to get the two back together by realizing they belong together. Sure, what could go wrong there? And you can insert all the sarcasm you want.

Anyway, so I am in front of the bathroom mirror trying to put on some make up for my "pretend" date. Even though I am married already. That's where the later-trouble is going to come into play. I shook my head. I couldn't think about my life back home while trying to focus on the task at hand. So, I was putting on foundation and working on my shoulder-length hair that decided to have an attitude when I hear my name, "Bella!"

"What?"

"Where are you?"

"In your bathroom"

"Your date is here"

"Send him this way." My idea is that if he sees how horrible I look without make up, then we are going to be fine. I would go home with this as a secret even the FBI wouldn't get out of me and the married couple would be on a second honeymoon.

The guy wasn't a guy at all, but my high school sweetheart ex. All I could do was yell with bug eyes, "SEND HIM BACK!"

 _Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!_ Was all my brain was able to come up with at the time. I need to find a way out of this mess, NOW!

"I don't feel good." I said, staring into the big brown eyes of Jacob. He smirked seeing right through my whole lie.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Alice as she came walking out of the room across the hall and came up short when her small frame collided with Jacob's solid body. She was looking between him and I, she was trying to compose herself and we were trying to figure out what to do with the situation. After all, Alice was my best friend so she knew exactly how I felt about Jacob and what had happened so long ago. With a smile, her only answer was,

"This is going to be fun."

In so long, I haven't wanted to kill my best friend, but tonight seemed like a good time to make up for all those missed opportunities. I guess my mouth was open as I was gaping at her while she strode her little body towards her date, Jasper. Jacob came up behind me closed my mouth with his hand. The close physical contact was extremely unsettling and what was worse were all the memories flooding back. I tried to steel my back and ignore the rush of memories, forcing them down into the bottomless pit of my heart where they belonged. I shook off the look Jacob was giving me and strode toward the group. I could hear the chuckle from Jacob.

"I guess Bella's better now."

Oh this was going to be a long night.

We all got into our "date" cars. I say this with slight sarcasm because I was to be riding with Jacob. Now, what in the universe decided to make this night happen? This had disaster written all over it. There was nothing good going to come out of it, and yet, my heart was in my chest and my hands were all sweaty – just like the first date we had. As much as I was fighting it, I was actually excited about being able to see Jacob and I could finally put some ghosts to bed, so to speak.

I had been filled with regret about the way Jacob and I had ended things. I am not sure what had happened so long ago. But it had haunted me in everything I did. I know I'm married, but I find myself wondering what my life would be if I hadn't made that fateful decision. I even played the "What If" game all the time. So, while I am having the ever battle inside of me, Married vs. Teenager, Jacob seemed like he was having his own troubles. I noticed that his all-important finger was smaller toward the base of the finger, indicating there had been a wedding band at one point in time, but not anymore. I tried not to think about what he was going through, I was just trying to figure out what was expected of me. However, it is tricky when the "date" knows every move to make, every word to say, to make this night perfect.

Let's clear up some things.

First of all, I am married. Happily married is a really good question. Who is purely happily married all of the time? But I did make the commitment and I am not one to break promises without some serious force behind it, so I am stuck there. However, my doctor husband, Edward, is gone all of the time. I married him in the middle of college and that was that. I got thrown into the high lifestyle of money and missing husbands and Loneliness is my constant companion. Oh I want for nothing and yet the one thing I do want, I don't have all of the time. I know my husband loves me, but there are some days if I wonder if it would be enough and this is about the time that Jacob comes sneaking from the dark hole I had buried him in. I end up staring at the stars wondering where he is in the world and who he married. How many kids he's had and wondering if he ever thinks about me, if I haunt him the way he haunts me? Of course, in all of my daydreaming I had no idea this would ACTUALLY happen. The Universe has a sense of humor.

Second, Jacob and I dated in high school. It wasn't the typical dating, but the smack you in the face, can't separate the two, type of attachment. There were strong feelings and strong passions, and big plans. The problem we ran into was College. I was going to go to a different school and we never talked about what we were going to do; I guess he thought we would do what we always did, just playing it as it came. Meanwhile, I was feeling trapped by all the plans that were made for me. The college, the marriage, the career; I wondered if I was going to miss out on Life, so I ran. I ran as fast as I could and came up with some lame excuse for everything that was about to happen. Jacob never seen it coming.

Just as it seems the air could not take anymore unspoken thoughts or the emotional tension in the car, we are at our restaurant. I didn't mean to bolt out the door, but Jacob was gone just as quickly. We are gathered with the rest of the group and of course, I am trying to put Alice between Jacob and me, but she is interested in Jasper, so I am trying to avoid all physical contact while being squished between Alice and Jacob. Here's the situation. We are in a round booth. One of the ones you always see in the commercials with all the people laughing around. Emmett and Rosalie are together now and all better apparently because they are about to be one, Jacob and then myself, Alice and Jasper. Oh yeah, we are all "dating" it up tonight. I have no choice, but to feel the warmth coming off of Jacob's body and remember what it was like to have that pressed against me. I can smell my favorite cologne drifting off of him and I am sent away.

It's the summer of our senior year. Jacob and I finally have some time to ourselves and take off to Port Angeles. I am just thrilled at the thought of having a whole day to myself and no sight of Dad. A storm decided to come into the area. I flashed Jacob my devil's smile and he pulled over right when the first cloud released all its contents. I jumped out and started to dance in the rain. Jacob just started to laugh at my silliness and stood over by the truck. Eventually, after I was soaked, I jumped into the truck, with all the emotions flowing through me, I kissed Jacob just wanting to share the passion I had flowing through me. What I intended to be a fun kiss quickly turned into hot passion and before I knew it, I was trying to take off his shirt and he was having difficulty with my bra. With sudden realization, I pulled back and with tears in my eyes, I shook my head. Part of me begged for him to continue and not worry about anything. However, there was also the logical part that had to show its ugly head. Jacob just stopped and smiled at me, understanding all of the time. We quickly headed for another more populated area for same cover. The rest of the memory fades into smoke.

Apparently we were being talked to.

"Bella! Jacob! Where did you guys go?"

Jacob jumped at the same time I did and we exchange glances. I got the feeling he went to the same place I did.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Where did you guys go?" Rosalie replied looking annoyed that she had to repeat herself.

"Uhhh…. Not sure about him, but I was just thinking."

Rosalie shoots me a doubtful look. I am scrambling for a quick excuse and see the dance floor behind her.

"I was just pondering what it would be like to dance again. It has been so long since I've danced."

"Well, Jacob that's the perfect opportunity."

"Huh?" Jacob's eloquent reply. Of course, I'm smirking.

"No that's fine. I don't have to dance; I probably don't remember the rules anymore. Besides, I am a horrible partner." There was hushed laughter coming from Alice. I could hear it in my ear.

"Jacob! Ask her to dance. It's not like you guys know each other or anything." At this, Alice couldn't hold it in any long and busted out with a fit of giggles.

"Oh if you only knew. They know each other well. They were high school sweethearts." My heart dropped and I reached for a hand just to keep me grounded and from reaching over to strangle her. Yet again. The hand I grabbed was Jacob's. As if on cue, he pushed Rosalie and Emmett out of the way and pulled me with. We went to the floor and it was a soft R & B. I didn't say anything. I didn't think I had to, but I could feel four sets of eyes on our every move. I had to disappear. I had to get away. I was frantically trying to find any exit.

"The bar is over there." I looked in the direction Jacob was pointing and immediately left him on the dance floor for the bar. He was following close behind. After showing my i.d. and asking for a Jack & Coke, I was starting to sip on it.

"So, are we just going to continue to not have the conversation that lies between us or what?" At this, my response was finishing my drink in one gulp. I looked at him and proceeded to grab the microphone from the stage.

"Hey everyone! I haven't done this in a while, but I have some stuff I have to get off my chest and I wanted to see what you thought of it." I closed my eyes and released my heart.

I should've said no, I don't have that picture,

But I did keep the one you drew.

I don't need it to remember what you look like

You're in my memory every night

I don't need to look at your letters

That are preserved in a scrapbook

I find your love in every dream

I don't need to release the fairies you gave to me

They dance in every star I see

I should've told you I was scared

I was messed up in the head

So I ran instead of facing the plans we made

I thought you offered a cage

So I built one myself

I wanted all the passion in the world

Someone to share it with

Now I share my bed with Loneliness and Regret

You're in every thought, every wish, and every regret

No I don't have the picture we took

But I still carry the memories in my heart

If you wanna look

Stare into my eyes,

You'd be the only one to know the way

Back to the faithful day.

The whole place was quiet and I just realized what I did when there was applause and tears and I found an exit with my name on it. I didn't care if he followed me or if he cared. I just wanted him to know. I flew into the rain, oh the irony, and up the fire escape. After a while I had some company.

"Bella!" It was Alice.

"Bella, where are you?" Still no answer from me.

"Come on! We don't have time for this and everyone knows! It's not that bad and you're a celebrity now!" That was Rosalie. Even she came out. Wow!

"Fine! We are going inside." There was a slamming of the door and I found relief, even in the downpour. I screamed as loud as I could, thinking no one could hear me and collapsed against a ledge. However, I wasn't as alone as I thought I was. I glanced up and that's when Jacob came into view. Leave it to him to know where to find me. There was some smart ass comment on the tip of my tongue when he just walked up to me and kissed me.

This wasn't an apology kiss, this wasn't "hey get to know you" kiss. This was punishment for everything I ever put him through. This was his passion unleashed and I was holding on for dear life. He was challenging me, knowing full well I wouldn't back down. I didn't. This time we weren't little teenagers in his truck, but grown adults fully aware of the consequences of our actions and still I couldn't bring myself to care. Not now. I had a chance to find passion in myself again and I wasn't letting go. I had no idea what the rules were. What the tomorrows were going to bring or what Jacob and I were going to be after this, but he didn't give me a chance to care. I was being lead back inside through the roof door and into a back room. I had no idea who it belonged to or how Jacob knew it was here. All I knew was I was going to not live with no regret right now. I was going to have all the answers my heart had been looking for and I was going to find it NOW! My shirt was gone in a flash and for a brief moment, we had to catch our breaths. I was shivering from the rain and Jacob was looking me up and down. I was doing the same to him. We were trying to decide what we wanted. Right now, we could walk away and not know anything. Not have to lie to the world and each other every day. I put my hands to my head and shook. There wasn't going to be any logic tonight. "No regrets! No responsibility! No logic!" Jacob looked at me as if he understood. There wasn't going to be anything, but Jacob and me. I reached for the bottom of his shirt, trying to tug it out of his jeans, when his hands reached for mine. He was waiting to see if I was going to stop him. As a warning I suppose. If we continued on the path we were on, there was no going back and I wasn't going to be able to stop him. I didn't say anything, but shoved him back the few steps to the wall. It was all the answer he needed and I threw the shirt away with mine along with any Logic, Regret, or Responsibility. I had the jeans and the pesky boxer briefs down to his feet in five seconds and while I was on my knees, I looked up at the man Jacob had become. Sure, he was absolutely beautiful as a teenager, but as an adult, he was a runner for Michelangelo's David. I brought my hands as high as I could; I met the middle of his sculpted stomach, and touched, trying to memorize everything about him. The way his skin felt under my careful hands. The way he shivered the lower I got. Soon, I had my hands around Him, and his breath caught. I glanced and was surprised as how big he was. In appreciation, I took him fully in my mouth and suckled as a babe does on the nipple. His response was a low growl so I figured that was a good thing and continued with my endeavors. I applied a light pressure with my teeth and then my hands joined in. By now, My Jacob was leaning against the wall and his knees were shaking. I let go and smirked. It was my challenge. I knew what to do with a man and I was to make damn sure he NEVER forgot about me. His eyes flashed and he lifted me from my knees to my feet, throwing me up against the same wall that had supported him a few seconds ago.

"Too many clothes." With this, my whole outfit was with his. I was surprised it wasn't ripped to shreds. He was kissing me as if I was the only food in the world, then he drifted to my ears and my neck. While his skillful hands were playing with my nipples and my breasts. It was then my knees began to give out. "Stay!" I was trying desperately to stay, but my body was aching. I whimpered softly, certain his ears heard. He then stepped back and looked me up and down. "Beautiful, as always." I reached for him and he pinned me back against the wall. His hands began to touch my body as mine had done and when he reached my Woman, I had whimpered even louder. "Please." I wasn't sure if I was asking him to stop or continue, but his hands began to caress me and I wanted to release some sound, but none could be found. I let my head fall back just to enjoy the ministrations of a skilled lover. His right hand was toying with my center while the left was worshipping my right breast. It was then he found the Button. A sharp in take of breath. He then decided to put just one finger inside me and shook his head. "No attention, so tight." The thumb of that same hand found that Button of mine and between the two I wanted more. "More." Jacob looked at me. "Please. NOW!" I couldn't stay standing very much longer. Jacob released me and I collapsed into his arms. He found an old iron bed frame with a mattress. He put me down and continued. This time, his mouth found my stomach and I continued to laugh. It felt good, but he smiled, remembering just how ticklish I was. As soon as he was at my hips I quit laughing and started to feel weak again. "Please, No." Again, I wasn't sure if I meant stop or go, but Jacob took it and ran. His mouth claimed my Woman and all, sending me screaming. It had been too long since someone had spent so much time trying to please me. His tongue taking in all of my juices. I grabbed for his head and wanted to kiss his mouth, wanting to know what it tasted like, my Jacob's kisses with my cream. I loved it. He grabbed a hold of my hips and was positioned in my entrance. He looked in my eyes and I stared back into his. I wasn't going to stop us, I wasn't going to make the decision. I wasn't going to think. He slowly entered into me and I could feel myself stretching to accommodate. It hurt at first, but experience told me it would subside soon. I grimaced in pain as Jacob watched, waiting for my comfort to continue. When I began to rock my hips back and forth, he began to enter and leave. I could feel every ridge, every twist, everything that made him Jacob. We were slow at first, but the Fire burning inside wouldn't be pacified with the slow stuff. Time was not on our side. Soon, I was biting into his shoulder blade and he was trying to re-sculpt the bed frame by hand. When Mission position didn't work anymore, we searched for satisfaction in different positions, finding Doggie style to be the most satisfying. I didn't care if the rest of the room downstairs heard me, I was screaming his name time after time as was he mine to the rhythm of him pounding hard as he could. I am not quite sure how many times we came together and fell apart, but I knew I was never going to be the same again after this. I was going to feel this for the rest of my life and it would take the rest of Eternity to put me back together again.

Here We Go Again 5 of 5


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The sun was rising when we both woke. We weren't in the bed anymore and the mattress was underneath us, with puncture wounds to show the battle. I wanted to say something, anything, but the ring he had thrown into the pile last night returned to my left middle finger this morning and with it the stark realization there was no promises I could make. I was committed to another. We left out the same way we got in and he drove me back to Rosalie's, dropped me off and drove away. He never looked at me, never met my eyes. But what did I expect? _No regrets. You got your answers. He still loves you, still thinks about you. No regrets._ A voice kept telling me in my head, but then why did I still feel so empty? I didn't open the door to Rosalie's. I didn't do anything, but get into my car and drive the hour and a half back home.

I got home and no one was there to greet me. I wondered if my husband had noticed I was gone. Of course, I had told him I was going out with Alice and wasn't expected to make it home because I didn't know what the Girl's Night entailed. So, there's a chance he didn't expect me. I headed to the bedroom when I turned on my cell just out of habit. Of course, I had a few missed calls.

"Bella. It's just me, Edward. I was just calling to see how your Girl's night went. Let me know. Love you, 'bye."

"Bella. It's Alice, Call me when you get in. I need to know where you are."

"Bella! It's Rosalie! Call NOW! We are ready to call the cops for you!"

"Bella, I have to pull a long day so I probably won't be home when you get home, but at least call me and let me know where you are. Love you. 'Bye."

I wanted to ignore all of them, but I called Alice; knowing she might be the more forgiving out of the three.

"Hey Alice."

"Bella! What the hell!? Where are you? What happened to you?"

"Yeah, I'm home. Jacob happened to me. I really don't feel good, so I am going to take a shower and go to bed," trying to avoid any impending visits for girl talk, I wasn't up for it.

"Okay, but call me and tell me just what the hell happened to you."

"Yeah ok. Hey! Can you call Rosalie for me and apologize."

"Yeah I guess, but you still owe her BIG TIME!"

"Yeah, later."

I didn't give Alice the chance to hang up. I made the next dreaded call. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four rings. Five rings. Six rings. Of course, voicemail. My favorite buddy.

"Hey this is Edward. I am either at work or sleeping so leave a voicemail and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks. Bye."

"Hey it's just me, Bella. I am at home. Girl's Night was harsh, so I am just going to take a hot shower and go to bed. I guess I'll talk to you later." I let exhaustion seep into every word. I did not want him coming home to wake me up and ask more questions before I was ready to answer.

I walked into the lavish shower with three shower heads to make sure I was clean. As I was peeling off the clothes from last night, reminding myself to toss them into the laundry later. I was finding all the bruises I had endured. I was going to have to come up with some quick excuses. Maybe I had started taking up kickboxing and this was from practice spar. That would work. I would just have to look into kickboxing later. The hot water ran down my body, with it the traces of Jacob. I could still smell the cologne in the air, left from my skin carried by the water vapor. I scrubbed my head, trying to get the memory of last night out of my head. Like that was going to work. It hadn't work for the last decade, what made me think it would work now? When my skin was starting to turn into a prune and was red from my attempts to remove him from my body, I got out of the shower, toweled off and wrapped myself in my terry cloth bathrobe and dropped into bed. I wasn't even aware I had been sleeping when I seen lights flashing through my bay bedroom windows. I woke with a start and immediately grabbed the clothes still lying on the floor and flew down to the basement to start a load of laundry. I just got the washer going when Edward walked in the door.

"Bella! Bella! Where are you?"

"Down here!"

"What are you doing in the basement?"

"Laundry."

"Why? I thought you had a laundry service for that?"

"I do, but I wanted to make sure I knew how to do it for myself."

Edward had learned a long time ago, I came with quirks. He just shrugged his shoulders. Then looking over my appearance, "Apparently you didn't get my message."

"Huh?" Was my clever response.

"I left you a voicemail. Even called the house, but you must have been too tired to answer."

"Oh sorry. What's going on?"

"We have a dinner invite from the Board of Directors of the hospital."

"Okay, just give me a few. I can be ready."

"Please hurry or we will be very late."

"We are late already?"

"Yes."

"Just tell them you got caught up at your job or with your wife!" It would be nice if he would turn some of that passion of his work on me, but he's always too tired. Edward just sighed. We had had this fight too many times. I knew his argument. He knew mine. I wanted attention. He wanted to provide. Do I like my nice things, then they come with a price. That price is his working. I didn't marry him just to be alone every night all the time. And I don't give a damn about the money.

I went back into the master bedroom and found the dress I kept for such occasions. It was a black simple number with a box neckline and an open back. Luckily, my hair had kept curly in the towel, so I threw some mouse in it and a hair clip for a messy updo. Then a light application of make up and a quick brushing of the teeth and I was ready to go. I applied a quick squirt of my department store perfume and some deodorant and I was good to go. Edward laughed as he looked at my feet, they were shoeless, and so I skipped back in and came out with my pumps. I was still feeling pretty proud of myself for going from not ready to ready in ten minutes when we got in the car and Edward started to notice all the bruises on my arms and wrists. I threw a small jacket around my arms.

"I took up kickboxing. It was a beginner's sparring match. I lost." Edward just shook his head. He was quiet the whole time and I was grateful for it.

The Dinner was what to be expected. The whole black tie affair. No different than thousands of others I had gone to in the last few years. There was some talk about Edward becoming a head of department for the hospital and the great work he was doing for mankind. All I could see was a bunch of wolves in sheep's clothing. People travelled for miles to be able to have Edward as their doctor and for this, I was very proud. However, they kept him there because he was also able to make them more money due to the demand rather than just the fact that they had to work for it.

All of a sudden I started to feel sick to my stomach and if one more old man touched me or tried to feel my backside, I was going to jail for assault and possibly attempted murder. I had to get out of there. Of course, I am starting to notice my main reaction to anything anymore is just to run. But, why fix something that works? I grabbed my small jacket and headed out to the crisp night air, wanting to find some relief. I hadn't even paid attention to where we were going on the way here and was rewarded for my ignorance with the realization we were close to my old hometown, Forks. We were actually on the other side of the reservation. Jacob. I started walking. Again, there is no explanation for what I was doing. Any normal person would be screaming at how stupid I was. I had everything; I wanted for nothing and yet, I wanted more. I had only got about 10 feet from the building when Edward was calling me.

"Bella! Hey Bella! Where are you going?" Call me chicken, but I wasn't ready to face the consequences of my actions. I just turned around and walked back to Edward with my head down. My beautiful husband with the rusty color hair, strong tortured features, deep green eyes. He makes every girl in the known world swoon at the thought that he might look at them. Everyone except me.

"I just wanted to go for a small walk."

"Hey what is going on with you? You are usually more sociable than this. You didn't even greet my parents."

Hey wait, they are in there? Shit!

"I am sorry. I just don't feel good and not really up for a social call."

"Yeah, I thought that was the reason and told them such. Do you wanna go home?" The look of disappointment in Edward's face could be pliable.

"No we need to stay. I am just going to be a few minutes and I will be right in." Edward's face started to relax. He gave me a quick hug and headed back in to socialize once more. Ugghh. I couldn't stand the thought of going back in there and having all those dirty old men touching me all the time. When I turned around for the second time, I was satisfied to find no one was watching me and I was free to do as I wished. I started walking once more.

*-*-*-*-* Jacob's POV *-*-*-*-*

He was the last person I expected to be on my doorstep. The absence of pure hatred was also another surprise. I pulled in front of my lake house. He was on the front porch. I looked at him and he made eye contact with me.

 _Shit. Now I have to say hi and at least acknowledge him._

As I as walking up towards my house, I was trying to find her, but she seemed to be nowhere in sight. I noticed he actually looked human; the fancy tux may have been clean and pressed at one point, now looked well worn.

 _His majesty can actually condescend to be human! Shit! Had he been crying? What the hell do I do with that?_

I nodded my head in his direction while I was trying to remember if I had anything stronger than beer in the house. He stood in the doorway and I waved him in. A closer inspection of his face revealed he had been crying, the rims of his eyes were red.

"So, have you seen her?"

I was standing in the fridge, reaching for those beers when his question froze me. Granted I hadn't thought of her in the last fifteen minutes, but to have him bring her up makes that wound a little bigger.

"No." He didn't make any move. I shoved the beer towards him. For about ten minutes, we sat there at the dining table. As usual, I was approaching beer 2 when I noticed he wasn't halfway through with beer 1. Once again he caught me watching him and somehow this was an invitation to start talking. I had to admit I wanted to know where she was and why he was in my house.

"She left. I don't know why. I thought things were good- my practice was good. She had everything she ever needed, but tonight, we were at a dinner party for the hospital and she just went out for a walk and never returned. I figured she'd call some family or friends for support, but then I remembered you lived nearby. I took a gamble. I just don't know what went wrong.

I'm still in shock about this, but here is the man who took off with my world asking me for advice?! I look skeptically over. He's looking at me with expectation. Alright, I'll tell him.

"Maybe it's the fact that you took her and put her in a cookie cutter lifestyle that she never wanted? Maybe it's because you never accepted every beautiful bright, dark, twisted side of her. Maybe for once, instead of trying to protect her all the time, you should let her go and watch how far she'll fly." I knew my face was red from the rant, but dammit, why didn't he just leave her alone? She would be in my bed waiting for me if he had. She could be heavy with my child if he had. I would be whole if he had!

Edward stepped back from me like I had slapped him. Well, he wanted the truth and now he got it!

I had been reliving that night with her every breathing moment since. I knew there was something she was telling me that night and I had finally figured it out. She was trying to break free. She was trying to fly and I was the only one who was going to show her the way. I had given her that taste of freedom and now, she had grabbed it with both hands and flew away. Now, there was no chance to know where she would go. I had a couple guesses Alice might know, but I needed to know what he knew in order to save time and not retrace his steps. Then again, I may have more luck with Alice than he did; if she seen how much pain Bella was in.

"Let me make a phone call." I grabbed the cell out of my leather jacket and headed to the bedroom in the back of the house.

One ring. Two rings.

"Hello?" Her voice wasn't chipper for once and I could tell she was stressed about something.

"Hey Alice, its Jake. Have you seen Bella?" I could hear her voice hitch.

"No, I haven't. Why are you looking for her?"

"I got word that she was missing."

"Hmmm… I haven't seen her. Serious. If you find her, tell her to call me."

"Yeah will do."

I walked out to the main part of the house to find Edward was looking at the pictures on the wall. There were some of my parents and siblings, but there were also some of my friends and his wife was one of my friends. She was smiling in this one with Paul and Quil. In the other, she was just lying in the sun on the beach. When I walked in, he heard me and questioned with his eyes. I just shook my head.

"I just don't know where she would've gone to."

I started to look outside at the stars. It was a clear calm night for once. The type of calm that makes you believe you could reach up and catch the stars.

 _Where the hell are you?_

*-*-*-*-*- Bella POV *-*-*-*-*

I saw his house from far away. I had been climbing through the woods, making sure to keep a somewhat straight path. My feet froze when I was just inside the trees. I studied what was going on inside. There were two people. One was Jacob, of that I was sure, but who was the other person? It never crossed my mind that he could have another girlfriend. Hell, we were just making love 24-hours ago! Still, we didn't make any promises or clear anything up. But that's when I noticed that the other shadow was a shadow I knew well. The lean strong features of the face; the unruly hair. It was Edward! Oh shit! I had never really told Edward about Jacob. More like skimmed over him and that was that. I didn't go over my past, he didn't go over his and we were good like that. Until the past became the present and then it was a big problem. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't really care, but it was starting to get cold and my feet were killing me in the pumps. I hadn't planned on going for a hike tonight. The dress was offering little protection. Well, I could go down there and face the music, tail between my legs; not an option. I could call Edward on the cell and tell him I am lost and to come and find me in the middle of the woods. Likely story, but I was not going back into my cage willingly. I could call Alice and get yelled at and she would come save me. No, better not to drag her into this mess. She has enough problems of her own. It was then I remembered Jacob had a garage with some old blankets inside. I could go in there and hide out for a while. At least until Edward left and then talk to Jacob and find somewhere to sleep for awhile. I started to make the trek to the garage when I fell down. _Stupid heels._ I kicked off my shoes, but couldn't get back up. I was so exhausted, tired, cold, and hungry. I just needed to close my eyes.

*-*-*-*-* Jacob's POV *-*-*-*-*

I was staring out the window when I watched something fall to the ground, but it never got back up again. As if the Universe wanted me to see what it was, the moonlight was particularly bright on this one spot and I noticed her brown hair and pale skin. Without thinking, I flew out the French doors of my patio and Edward, upon hearing my movement, came running as well, was hot on my tracks. When he saw what I had saw, he was more anxious. I got to her first.

"Bella! What the hell!?" I threw my arms around her and picked her up. Edward was trying to take her from me, but just as she used to, her hands were curled up in my shirt, her face and body were turning toward my warmth. There was no way she was going to go without a fight. The more he struggled, the more she protested.

"Edward! Leave her alone! Let's just get her inside." I noticed there was no extra meat on her. She was so thin. Of course, my Bella was slim to start with, but this was bordering on scary. I don't know why I didn't notice it last night. _Maybe because you just wanted to claim what was yours!_ I put my guilt trip on hold. There was going to be plenty of time for that later.

Back in the house, I put Bella in my bed, wrapping all the blankets I could find around her. I wanted to get her out of the cold, wet clothes, but stripping another man's wife down to her underwear in front of said man isn't a good idea, so I motioned for Edward to take over. He tried, he was being gentle, but Bella wasn't having it. She curled into a ball and tears started to flow from her eyes. I looked at him and he looked at me.

"Bella, it's okay. You are safe now." Edward was trying to console her, but I didn't think it was going to happen. She didn't open her eyes, but rolled back into a smaller, tighter ball with the tears silently streaming down her pale cheeks. I had to get out of there before I shoved him away from _his_ wife and took care of _my_ Bella.

*-*-*-*-*Edward's POV*-*-*-*-*

I have no idea what in the world she was doing going through the woods dressed for a dinner party. I don't know why she would be doing something so crazy. There was something here that needed and explanation and yet I have no idea what it is. My wife's frame was slight to start with, but was bordering on anorexic when I finally got the chance to look at her. The bruises from her latest interest in kickboxing were starting to show due to her lack of fatty tissue. I wanted to take her to a hospital and put her through tests, get an IV in her and more fluids so she would be healthy again, but somehow I just knew Jacob wasn't going to let that happen. Not the way he was hanging around all of the time. So getting her warm and conscious was the main concern. There were three blankets on her by the time we were done and she still hadn't reached out to us, but she was dreaming. I could tell by the rapid eye movement she was showing. This was a good thing. At least something was going on in her brain. I just wish I knew what.

*-*-*-*-*Bella's POV*-*-*-*-*

I was standing beside Jacob, but there was Edward standing just outside of my view. My feelings with Jacob started to fade away and so had he. I wanted him to stay. To remind me I was worth something to someone once upon a time. Edward came closer. The more Jacob faded, the closer Edward got. I started to panic and wanted to move, but my feet wouldn't cooperate with me. I looked at Jacob and there was nothing I could do to make him stay; I didn't have the strength to turn Edward away, but I didn't have the heart to pretend Jacob didn't exist. All of a sudden, there was quicksand under my feet and the more I struggled to get free, the more I sank. Jacob was still fading, but I was going too. The more he faded, the more I sank. I had but one option, Edward. If I could just make it to him, then I would be safe. All I had to do was choose the man I wanted to be with. Was that so hard? I knew outside, my cheeks were wet from my own tears and I was able to sense the both of the next to me; one on each side. I didn't want to accept consciousness. That would mean I would have to answer questions and I wasn't up for it. Apparently, my body couldn't stand to be wrapped like a mummy and my claustrophobic tendencies took over. I busted out of the cocoon they had built for me and took a deep breath in.

 _Ready or not, let's get this over with._

I woke up, the type of wake up where you can feel the rest of your body reaching consciousness before you admit to open your eyes. I opened my eyes and my husband looked at me with his green eyes, full of worry and accusation. There was anger there, just under the surface, but there was also concern. I had a lot of explaining to do and he was expecting it. Fair.

"Bella?"

"Yea?"

"How are you?" He went into Doctor-Mode. He was using his bedside manner first. I could appreciate that.

"I am good. Hungry, but good."

"Okay. I would like to take you to the hospital for some testing. We need to get you better."

"Ummm… Ok. I guess." I shifted under the covers.

"Bella, there's nothing left of you. I don't know how I missed it, but I am here now and I am going to take better care of you. I am going to be there for you more." He leaned in with his forehead against mine, his eyes pinched shut. "Bella, I am so sorry."

I can't explain it, but it was too late. I didn't want him there for me. I didn't want him to take care of me. Why couldn't he be there for me before I got so bad? Why did I have to be on the edge of Death before he could finally make me a priority? I sighed and pulled back.

"No, Edward. Not anymore. I know you are sorry and I appreciate the apology, but I don't want your empty promises anymore. I don't want this lonely lifestyle. I didn't get married to only talk to your voicemail. I didn't marry you to be a socialite. I married you to be with you, next to you, out to dates with just the two of us. Not the trophy wife at home. I need more. Hell, I deserve more from you." Surprisingly, I wasn't screeching at him, I wasn't being hysterical. I was perfectly calm. I continued.

"I want to come home to someone who can see through me and yet find me challenging all of the time. Someone who knows when the rain falls outside, there is no way I am going to stay in; who knows the perfect movie to play on Sunday Morning. Someone who is going to be there for me as much as I am going to be there for them.

You should've known I was unhappy. I don't know how you could have missed it. We have been together for how many years? Somewhere in there, you went one way and I didn't follow. Somewhere in there we lost us.

I don't want the money. I could really careless. I just want to be done. I want this to be over and painless as possible."

Edward pulled away. I couldn't see his face due to the low lighting. I didn't know what he was thinking, but that could've been a good thing. If I had seen his face, then there was no way I would be able to tell him everything I was thinking.

"I gave you everything; you didn't have to want or need for anything in the world. Yes, I know it came with a cost. Lately, it seems the only thing we could talk about. I know you have wanted to get away and we could do that. We could move. You can pick where we would go. You can get into any hobby you wanted and I would be home every night."

I just shook my head.

"No, Edward. Nothing is going to change my mind. You are a beautiful doctor and shouldn't deprive the world of your genius. I just don't want to be a casualty. You need someone who is content to be on the sidelines; that's not me. I want to travel the world and see everything it has to offer. I want to be lost in the world and find myself. This is best for the both of us."

"So that's it. I am just not enough for you anymore?" He turned the light green eyes of his on me the color of those eyes are a sign of tears behind.  
"Not enough, no. Just not mine anymore. We have grown apart and that's not a bad thing. Just a thing." My voice was a whisper.

I noticed Jake is standing outside the door. I hadn't noticed when he was in the room and when he wasn't. It didn't matter and yet it did. With the ending of this relationship, I would be able to start one with him. Once I got my feet back under me and felt whole again. The weight of my decision is starting to weigh on me.

Edward just stood up. "I will go and find a hotel room and an apartment in the morning. Will that work for you?"

"Edward, just take the house. I can stay with my Dad for a while until we get everything settled." He just nodded. The professional, worldly Man was leaving and the slope of his shoulders was showing the same weight I was starting to get used to. Without looking up, he just walked out of the door, leaving the door open.

With Edward gone, Jake shut the door and walked into the room I was in. I was just sitting under the covers.

"Well, that is interesting."

"Yeah."

"If you wanna crash here, that would be ok with me."

I looked up at him to see no ulterior motive there, but the wonderful friend I had missed, willing to pick me up after I had destroyed my world.

Everything began to sink in. The house, the stuff I could really care less about, but what about our friends? What will his parents think? How many worlds have I single-handedly destroyed in those final words? I just burst into tears. Jake came to my side instantly, pulling me into his chest. Almost as if he could see the wheels in my head spinning.

"Shhh, Bella. It will be ok. Everything will right itself."

"But I just ruined so many lives. I just left everyone that needed me. What about his parents? What about our friends? What am I going to tell the world?

"Well, honestly, if they were any sort of friend, then they would be understanding. You are just trying to make your life better and take care of yourself. Don't ever apologize for taking care of you."

"Ok." I pulled away to look up at him and noticed my mascara had run all down his shirt. I was wiping it away.

"Don't worry about it."

"Ok." I curled back under the covers and cried myself to sleep. There was nothing else that could be done now.


End file.
